Snatching Shabbos Victory From the Jaws of Defeat


[Rabbi Ilan Feldman, rav of Beth Jacob Cong. in Atlanta (and son of Cross-Currents senior blogger Rabbi Emanuel Feldman) sent this letter to the dejected rabbanim of the Baltimore community after the JCC board ignored the plaintive cries of the arguably best organized and most influential Orthodox community in America. The board decided to open a JCC on Shabbos, something that the frum community had successfully fended off in the past. Cross-Currents readers have read about the issue before. Rabbi Feldman was the veteran of such a struggle in his own city, and shared his reaction with his colleagues to the north. The letter is moving, free of the venom we are used to seeing when “they” get it all wrong, and remarkable for its optimism and practical suggestions. It has already circulated widely, and served as the topic of the Yom Tov derasha in one major Baltimore shul.- YA]

Watching from afar, reading snippets, it is all painfully familiar, almost inevitable, as if they are following a script they have no bechira over. They are clearly copying from a common playbook, because the wording, the cynical claim that they are trying to enhance Shabbos, the concept of the JCC supporting “multiple journeys”, use the same language we heard last summer when they opened in Atlanta.

Since they are not baalei mesorah, I doubt they speak the same way because they come from the same yeshiva. I know for a fact that Atlanta JCC took coaching from others, including Baltimore JCC, about how to get this done in spite of orthodox opposition, learning lessons from the failed attempt a few years ago in Baltimore.

I believe the one lesson in all this is: the orthodox Shabbos is clearly not observed spectacularly enough to communicate to these people. As a community, we are too closed, too private, too unsharing, too self-conscious, to self suppressed, to have let them realize– in their bones– that it is inconceivable to offer a gym or a pool on Shabbos. I do not expect, b’derech hateva, that an entire city will become shomer Shabbos. But I do expect that our Shabbos can be so powerful to us that those who don’t keep it would be a bit ashamed about it. But alas, they have no idea that we relate to this the way we would if our sister was, Heaven forbid, violated. They know only the realm of the political, and, in that realm, they assume only that we are trying to force our way upon them. The louder we protest, the more they think we are trying to exert political pressure. Kavod Shabbos is not a concept they even disagree with; they have no idea we are concerned about that, or kvod Shamayim. Even when we say it, they translate it into their political terms of power. A bigger problem is that we, the guardians of Shabbos, fall into that trap and think our strength is in numbers, or political muscle, or influence with wealthy donors, in the process ignoring the true source of our strength, which is unflinching devotion to the idea of kvod Shamayim. If we got that straight, on the lay level (translate for you R Elchonon [Oberstein] from Alabama: baalei batim), our Shabbos would not be routine, we would not spend our time making ourselves superior by talking about what is wrong with the secular in an attempt to keep our children in line. Rather, we would be filled with enthusiasm, we would be aching to share, our shuls would look like centers of spiritual joy, with really happy people in them (when did “serious” become a greater religious value than “happy”? We are so serious we cannot even greet each other unless we know each other already). The gulf in “reality” between the two worlds is tremendous, and if we are not willing to do something about it, shame on us, not them. We are the parents, they are the children. There is trouble in the family. Do the parents lock their bedroom door, or emerge and take care of things?

Last summer, when the JCC opened, I said these things repeatedly in public, and called for a chizzuk of Shabbos among those who do “get it.” We had 60 people publicly, on the internet, proclaim their personal kabbalos for what they would take on to strengthen Shabbos. We formed a team that would examine what could be done to make Shabbos “spectacular”: we looked at Kiddush, we looked at davening, we looked at activities in the afternoon, and we looked at sharing Shabbos, we looked at greeting each other on Shabbos (it unfortunately has become fashionable to walk right by a Jew on the street on Shabbos and not offer a greeting, and certainly if it is the other gender. I have an eye witness (she is psula l’edus but an isha tzanua bas talmid chochom) that Harav Shach, ZT”L, personally greeted her- though he did not know her– on Shabbos when he passed them). We made some changes, nothing terribly dramatic, but the “conversation” of a being responsible to have a spectacular Shabbos is alive, and we are not finished yet.

This Shavuos, we created a commando unit of people who accepted the goal of inviting 50 Jews to spend the entire Yom Tov with us. We invited many people, and many people politely said “no”, but their connection to frum yidden will never be the same. I spent a morning at the JCC passing out cheesecake and inviting every member of the staff, including the Executive director, to stay with us for Yom Tov. I did it because I was afraid to, and I am tired of playing by my made up rules of politeness and consideration, hiding the fact that I am inhibited in being marbeh kvod Shamayim when it is uncomfortable and not heroic, relegating such behavior to Chabadniks. Among the 25 people who are spending Yom Tov with us are: a couple from a small Tennessee town who have never seen Shavuos; a scientist from CDC whose mother is Jewish but she never heard of Yom Tov; a couple whose parents are baalei teshuva but the kids never were frum; several students from a local chiropractic school, and a couple who have been members for 30 years and who have been mechalel Shabbos every week to come to shul, who are now going to walk to shul for the first time. After Yom Tov we are going to transform this program into an ongoing process of inviting every Jewish board member of every Jewish organization to spend a Shabbos in our neighborhood. I don’t know if it will affect the guests or not, but I know it will change my people’s view of themselves radically.

All this is not to say how great we are. It is only to say that there is much that can be done that is not being done, and as guardians of Shabbos—shomrei Shabbos— we have to do something like this. Our predictable future otherwise is an unbridgeable gulf not only in practice, but in comprehension, between frum Jews and everyone else.

Why would we allow that?

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Moshe Schorr
6 years 3 months ago

(when did “serious” become a greater religious value than “happy”? We are so serious we cannot even greet each other unless we know each other already).

This line hit me twice.

The question “when did “serious” become a greater religious value than “happy”?” is a paraphrase from Reb
Noson of Breslov (though I doubt that Rav Feldman is aware of it). Reb Noson wrote to one of his students; “I have heard that Reb Ozer (the students’ name) is “frum”. That is not waht we recieved from the Rebbe (Rebbe Nachman of Breslov). The main thing is “freilach” and “frum” oich (as well).

The second point ” We are so serious we cannot even greet each other unless we know each other already” reminded me
of something that happened to me many years ago, but I cannot forget.

I went to a simcha in a hall in Yerushalayim. The place has several rooms and usually has more than one simcha at a time. As I entered the courtyard I saw a person leaving. Since he was obviously coming from a simcha, I spontaneously wished him “Mazal Tov”. He looked me over with a supercilious expresion and asked “Do I know you”?
He went on his way without any other response.

He is not alone. In Yerushalayim it is customary to accompany a choson to shul on the day of his auf-ruf with song and happiness. The sight always fills me with joy and gratitude that another Jewish family is on its way to being built. But when being privileged to escort my own son to shul, not one person who came in the opposite direction would offer a “Mazal Tov”.

We have a lot of work to do.

Steve Brizel
6 years 3 months ago

It is evident that in the case of the author, that R Feldman is following the Mesorah of R E Feldman who created a Torah community in Atlanta where none had previously existed in a positive way, but without worrying about the reactions from a secular Jewish power structure.

6 years 3 months ago

to #7
The Rebbe didnt believe in “frum judaism” or the notion of competing in the open market. What drove the Rebbe (and his followers) is the belief that any Jew who has the privelege of having been born, or having discovered, what Yiddishkeit is, has the obligation to go out and offer this opportunity to another Jew. This is the simple, humble and empowering truth that Feldman seems to have hit on. I hope the truth of it continues to drive him, straight from belief to action- and not via any of the strange sounding, self-important, and generally odd routes that “the kiruv world ” often takes.
As I said earlier, we would all do well to study the Rebbe’s teaching. If anything, they might even make one more “marketable”.

6 years 4 months ago

“Frum Judaism needs to compete in the open market” (#1)

Is this really what all your arguments boil down to? Is this the “deep truth” of # 5?

I’m wholly hesitant to endorse any religion that feels its essence must be marketable. If G-d is G-d, trust Him to do the shpeherding. If each one of us can do a little something to be a vehicle for that — great. But compete on the open market???

6 years 4 months ago

I agree that in principle everyone should be greeted on the street – but the reason I do not greet women is twofold. Firstly, there is a good chance my mind will unlock it’s doors to improper thoughts – even when the woman is dressed fairly modestly. many, if not most men, will agree/attest to this. Secondly – l’hotzi m’libam – in this day and age where FRUM young couples freely socialize with each others spouses, it is necessary to set certain gedarim which al pi din are not required – and, I reiterate, probably against what we should be doing (i.e. greeting everyone b’sever panim” Ironically, if I sense that it will be a kiddush Hashem – and also when I attend events in order to be mekarev – I will cordially greet women, being somech on the fact that a mashpia (hopefully) won’t be mushpa.