Being that I deal with troubled teens, I know this subject on a more intimate basis than a sound-bite perspective. As a matter of fact, I myself have had troubled teens stay with my family for months at a time.

Therefore, since you seem like the openminded type, I wonder if you’d like to become active in this- there are so many girls from troubled, secular backgrounds who need a loving home. Any organization would be ecstatic to have someone of your tolerance level join their ranks. Go for it- you’ll be happy you did.

That’s why it’s very important to focus on positive points, such as on the extraordinary kindness of the chareidi community. The part about giving away the kallah’s linens for example, while perhaps not a major expense, as well as eating meals in the hallway, is the type of story one reads about in gedolim biographies. Rav Pam, I think once said that ordinary people are capable of greatness at times, and gave the example of Nachshon Waxman’s mother’s response to the question about the efficacy of prayers for her son, hy’d .

What distinguishes bashing–charedi or otherwise–from constructive criticism is the inability to focuse on anything positive. If someone is expressing disagreement with the philosophy of any of our communal organizations, for example, they should at least enumerate a few positive examples of the work that they do, even if they feel that there are legitimate aspects to the particular critique. I linked below my post where I quoted the Chovos Halevavos and Rav Shlomo Zalman Aeurbach about seeing the positive when criticizing. Another point that I’ve heard, is that if the Jewish people would always have been negative, they would not have survived the long exile.

Nevertheless, I believe that even the negative comments on this blog are healthy and fulfill an important function. The “failings” or disagreements need to be discussed, but l’toeles– in a fair and future-focused way.

The blogosphere simply fulfilled a vacuum that existed previously because of the homogeneous aspect of the chareidi media. The chareidi media, at least in its current form, is unable to fulfill the needs of both the more and the less insular in a single publication. The best way of dealing with the vacuum, and facing the realities of blogging is a separate subject, but in my opinion, an extremely important one that deserves separate treatment and discussion.

But returning to my previous point, any site that engages in healthy communal introspection, should also have plenty of positive types of posts, like the current Cross-Current one.

It’s interesting what attracts different people to their respective communities in the Orthodox world. I see the above-mentioned fact as a strength of the close-knit charedi community, although there are certainly various types of chessed in non-charedi communities, which I’ve read about, or witnessed firsthand.

In general, I see trade-offs in being part of either community. Some people might like the warmth they find in the charedi community, but the trade-off, at least as I see it, is that one might have to give up a degree of personal autonomy, if a person wants to accept societal norms regarding various bans and a more intensely regulated press. I sometimes wonder how someone not born into either Orthodox community goes about choosing, and what aspect of the decision is “lishmah”, based solely on spiritual reasons, and how much is personal comfort level or individual personality, the latter being very important as well.

I also think that it would be a nice display of unity for the JO or Yated to do a feature on chessed or outreach being done by the non-chareidi community, as I believe that the Jewish Action has done features from a charedi perspective. Unfortunately, the chariedi community is often under siege, and that is why it focuses on it’s own strengths, but an occasional article focusing on the modern-Orthodox or religious-Zionist communitiy’s chessed activities, would project a broader image, and would be self-beneficial(perhaps there have been articles of such nature in the JO– I know Hamishpocha has done such features).