How to Stay Safe in the World Today

letter-447577_1280

This was sent to me; I look forward to crediting the original author once I know who wrote it.

1. Avoid riding in automobiles because they are responsible for 20 percent of all fatal accidents.

2. Do not stay at home because 17 percent of all accidents occur in the home.

3. Avoid walking on streets or sidewalks because 14 percent of all accidents occur to pedestrians.

4. Avoid traveling by air, rail, or water because 16 percent of all accidents involve these forms of transportation.

5. Of the remaining 33 percent, 32 percent of all deaths occur in hospitals. Above all else avoid hospitals.

You will be pleased to learn that only 0.001 percent of all deaths occur in worship services in a synagogue, and these are usually related to previous physical disorders.

Therefore logic tells us that the safest place for you to be at any given point in time is in Shabbat or holiday services. Torah Study is even safer. The number of deaths during Torah Study is too small to register.

For safety’s sake, go to Shabbat services, and attend Torah Study. It could save your life.

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8 Responses

  1. wolf t. says:

    Schul is the proper spelling for the word as it is originally a German word and originated in Germany, thank you very much.

  2. Yehoshua Friedman says:

    Consider the zchus of dying while you are davening or learning Torah. Even if you are the statistic, it’s still the thing to do. Learning Torah doesn’t appear on the statistics because not enough people are doing it, not because of lack of danger. Ask Rabbi Akiva.

  3. Jewish Observer says:

    wht’s with the schul spelling of shul?

  4. mycroft says:

    “You will be pleased to learn that only 0.001 percent of all deaths occur in worship services in a synagogue”

    Sadly-a person died suddenly in my schul.

  5. wolf t. says:

    Ssometimes listening to someone give a long and boring speech in Schul can leave one wishing for death, like in ” kill me now!”

  6. Jewish Observer says:

    “For safety’s sake, go to Shabbat services, and attend Torah Study. It could save your life”

    I bet you never saw people killing each other for the last piece of kishke

  7. Ori Pomerantz says:

    I bet more people die in the US in synagogue than while sacrificing to the Ba’al, Ashera, Zeus and Thor put together. Let’s not go there ;-).

  8. Gershon says:

    Of course, the logical continuation of the data presented should be that one should REMAIN in shul learning 24/7 (as it’s too dangerous to walk to/from shul).

    This vaguely reminds me about a radio ad for a home security company that warned the listeners that “summer is coming – did you know that over 25% of all home burglaries occur between Memorial Day and Labor Day?”